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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480895">That Guy with a Stack Of Soap Bars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloomy/pseuds/lloomy'>lloomy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mutual Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:48:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloomy/pseuds/lloomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is a shy and overworked literature student.<br/>Sirius is a suave art student looking to buy hundreds of soap bars.<br/>One day, they meet in the magical land of Noot Noot Mart.<br/>(James, Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas are cheering from the sidelines.)<br/>warning: so cheesy. like so cheesy. borderline cringy. just,,, be prepared...<br/>tw: swearing, food</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter (side), Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes (side), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>That Guy with a Stack Of Soap Bars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus groaned as he sat back down behind the counter. He had just spent 10 minutes helping a particularly rude woman choose a lotion. The small grocery store only had 3 options, goddammit. But apparently, they weren't up to the lady’s standards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus didn't mind working at Noot Noot Mart, it was decently paid, and he needed the money for college. Student debts were hell. Plus, the lack of customers and shipments usually let him spend time reading, or messaging his friends while he was waiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he got comfortable in the stool, pulling out a piece of text he had to read for class, he heard a crash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not paid enough for this," he sighed under his breath, moving towards the noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it-" Remus stopped in his tracks. In front of him was an incredibly handsome man. He had shoulder-length, black, wavy hair, as if he had just gotten straight out of a shampoo commercial. The hair complemented his grey eyes that were wide open, staring straight into Remus's eyes. He was wearing a Queen t-shirt and jeans that outlined his strong looking thighs. </span>
  <span>
    <em>No</em>
  </span>
  <span>, Remus scolded himself, </span>
  <span>
    <em>do not stare at the thighs</em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>. </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man also happened to be carrying a large stack of bar soap, and a few boxes on the ground, next to baskets filled with soap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus didn't remember seeing him working here before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, sorry, I think it's my shift right now," Remus said. The man threw his head back and laughed. It was a smooth yet deep laugh, and Remus couldn't help but smile. (Maybe it's also because Remus got a nice view of his cheekbones.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh no I don't work here mate," The man replied, still chuckling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, uh I see. Well, are you alright?" Remus gestured to the stack of soap in the man's incredibly toned arms and some that landed on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yep!" The man flashed Remus a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right, well I'll let you get to it," Remus felt his cheeks heat up and he walked back to the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sighed and pulled his book out again, but unable to concentrate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later the man returned, with what looked like the shop's entire stock of soap. Remus raised his eyebrows as he began scanning the items.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, you come here often?" The man asked. Remus was pretty sure he was hallucinating because the man sounded a bit... flirtations? </span>
  <span>
    <em>No of course not</em>
  </span>
  <span><em>,</em> he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I, I work here?" Remus replied, trying as hard as possible to stop his cheeks from burning up. He wasn't doing well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, nice, uh, Rolando?" He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus looked down at his badge. Crap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No sorry, my name is Remus. No, I was not raised by wolves and killed by my twin. My boss thought my name was Rolando, and I didn't want to correct him because he's quite old and a bit hard of hearing. I mean he's a nice man, he let me organize my hours around uni, and I'm rambling sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, the man just chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No worries, Remus. I also have a strange name," Remus looked at him questionably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sirius,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like the emotion or star?" Remus asked. He tried to avoid looking straight into his eyes, scared of being caught staring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The star," Sirius replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Brightest in the sky, eh?" Remus said, amused, looking back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, that would be me," Sirius grinned. "Someone knows their astrology,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus couldn't do anything other than refocus on scanning the soap, trying to ignore his blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few seconds later, Remus had finished scanning the soaps. Sirius paid and swiped the boxes into his backpack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See you later, Remus!" He saluted Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, you too. I mean, I see myself enough. And you see yourself. But I will see you later, I mean it depends, it's a pretty big town. I need to shut up. I will see you later. Maybe," he rambled out. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Real smooth, Remus</em>
  </span>
  <span>, he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please don't shut up, I like your voice," and with that, Sirius slipped out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>What the actual fuck.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<h4>
  <span>_</span>
</h4><p>
  <span>Sirius walked out of the store and let out a huff. Who was going to warn him that he was going to meet one of the cutest people on earth while buying a pile of soap?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oy, Jamie!” Sirius saw James’ head turn towards him, “I got the soap,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice,” James took Sirius' bag of soap and chucked it in the trunk, next to 6 other bars of soap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hopped in the car and he and James drove to the next shop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As fun as planning a prank for their professor was, Sirius couldn’t help but think about Remus. His floppy, soft mop of honey brown hair, that nearly covered his big, amber eyes. Oh and his voice! The rambling was impossibly cute. It was soft and a bit shaky but sounded </span>
  <span>
    <em>perfect</em>
  </span>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatchu thinking about?” James asked, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Sirius replied, as coolly as possible. He was failing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t look like nothing,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is nothing,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm ok,” Sirius turned the other way, trying to hide from James’ sideways glances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, are you blushing?” James asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Sirius hid his blushing face in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God! You are!” James replied gleefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh, pay attention to the road”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can pay attention to the road and your bright red face. I’m good at multitasking.” James said, with a giant smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not something you want to hear from a person driving a car, but ok.” Sirius retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, child, who is the boy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m older than you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhh child, don’t ignore the question, child,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed, “The checkout guy,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooo,” James said in an obnoxiously high pitch. “What’s his name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait what?” James asked suddenly. “Remus Lupin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know his last name! But how many Remus’s are there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably only one! Oh my God, you met Remus!” James said excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know him?” Sirius asked incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s the guy who’s like best friends with Lily!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily was James’ new girlfriend. After 2 years of pining, Lily asked James out on a date, out of the blue. That was around 3 weeks ago. Sirius had met Lily, she was a very kind and smart chemistry student, and now James and Lily spent as much time as possible being the cutest couple on campus. According to James, she shared a dorm with ‘a shy, cute guy’ and ‘two extremely pretty girls who were obsessed with each other’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy crap,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know! Aww someone has a crush! This is amazing,” Sirius wasn’t looking at James but he could hear the smile in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever met him?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but Lily talks about him a lot. He doesn’t get out much so we haven’t seen him around but he seems like a nice guy,” James said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, that's cool," Sirius said as nonchalantly as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James’ massive grin didn’t leave his face as they pulled into the next store. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Sirius hopped off the car, got another bag, and went in to buy more soap.</span>
</p>
<h4>
  <span>_</span>
</h4><p>
  <span>After he finished his shift, Remus walked back to the apartment he, Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene shared. As he walked through the squeaky door, he saw Marlene, Dorcas and Lily stare up at him with matching smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” he sighed. This couldn’t be good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We heard that you had a little run-in with the one and only Sirius Black,” Marlene said in a sing-song tone, pulling out a plate of takeaway food for Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Black? That’s his last name?” Remus chose to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Dorcas said cheerily, giving Remus a little pat on the head. Remus stuck his tongue out at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you guys know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little birdie told me,” Lily replied in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She means James,” Marlene said, “They’re best friends, apparently. And don’t think you can hide that blush, Mr. Lupin!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not blushing,” Remus busied himself with shoving noodles into his mouth, pointedly looking down at the plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww someone’s in loooooove,” Lily sang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First of all, he bought an outrageous amount of soap, who does that?” Remus began matter-of-factly. “Second of all, he was there for 5 minutes, you can’t fall in love in 5 minutes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not according to Potter,” Dorcas stage-whispered to Marlene.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two shush, you both fell in love the second you met,” Lily pointed at Marlene and Dorcas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We did not! It was a very strong initial attraction, but our glorious love built and matured over time, along with us,” Marlene said. Dorcas nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was true. Marlene was put in a dorm with Lily and Dorcas in their first year at the University of Hogsmeade, and according to Lily, they instantly latched onto each other and stayed that way ever since. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the 3 talked, Remus finished his food as quickly as possible, cleaned up his plate, and began to walk away. However, Marlene cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir, where do you think you’re going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got work!” Remus shouted, backing into his bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will be continuing this conversation another time!” Lily shouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t doubt it,” Remus sighed as he flopped into his bed, pulling out his laptop, intending to study for his upcoming test.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately for Remus’ sanity, his brain kept on reminding him of Sirius. He tried turning the volume of his music up and putting all his focus onto the words in front of him, but somehow all he could see was Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Pathetic</em>
  </span>
  <span>, he thought. Done with studying, he took his medication, took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and retreated to bed after saying goodnight to his friends, who were avidly discussing a new Halal restaurant down the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sighed, falling into a dreamless sleep.</span>
</p>
<h3>
  <span>_</span>
</h3><p>
  <span>A week later, James and Sirius went on another soap-buying run. Sirius was particularly excited because that meant he could once again see a certain curly haired guy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As James pulled up to the corner store, he handed him a bag and gave him a very conspicuous wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sirius asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well you know,” James winked again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t,” Sirius chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t make a fool out of yourself, yeah?” James said as sincerely as possible. “He’s a good guy, you’d be good for each other,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius walked into Noot Noot Mart. Looking at the counter he immediately smiled. Remus was hunched over in a stool haphazardly, staring at a textbook, looking extremely confused and tired, his fair flopping over his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” Sirius said. To his amusement, Remus jumped in his stool, catching his textbook before it fell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice reflexes,” Sirius said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uh, thanks,” A blushing Remus replied, not looking directly at Sirius. “Here to buy more soap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Sirius walked towards the soap aisle. He couldn’t help but giggle a bit at Remus, who had returned to staring at his book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After getting all of the bar soaps in stock, Sirius walked to the counter with a couple of baskets of the soaps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, let’s do this,” Remus said cheekily, as he began scanning the soaps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what were you reading?” Sirius asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I had to read a text for literature,” Remus replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow. Uni?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, University of Hogsmeade” Remus nodded. Unfortunately, he was still looking down at the soaps so Sirius couldn’t see those amber eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nice! I study art at Hogwarts University,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Posh,” Remus remarked. He wasn’t facing Sirius but he could hear the smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha, funny,” Sirius said in a deadpan voice, “You’re friends with Lily, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and you’re friends with James?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep,” Sirius smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad they finally got together,” Remus said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That makes two of us. Every time I heard Jamie complain about Lily rejecting him, I lost at least 30 brain cells,” Sirius relished in the small giggle Remus let out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know right? Lily was always talking about James, but the days he didn’t ask her out, she seemed very upset,” Remus shook his head. “Though they are cute,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sickeningly,” Remus giggled softly again. It was the cutest thing Sirius ever heard, and he wanted nothing more than to hear it every day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That will be 151 dollars, 21 cents,” Remus finally looked back up at Sirius, and it took Sirius a few seconds to re-enter reality from those wide eyes. Thankfully, Remus didn’t notice and Sirius slid his card towards him and paid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius picked up his bag of soap and gave Remus a wink, “Have a great day,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus blushed and mumbled a small you too before Sirius walked out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Sirius chucked his bag of soap in James’ car, avidly avoiding James’ sly smiles, he got hit by a wave of confidence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait in the car, will you?” he asked James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll figure it out!” Sirius called, walking back to the door of the shop, feeling more determined than ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius opened the door dramatically, causing Remus to look up quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi?” Remus asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” Sirius felt the confidence slowly leaving his body. He had to act fast. “Uh ‘Dance Potato Boy, Dance’ is coming out in a week, you want to watch it with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus stared at Sirius for a few seconds, his face turning red. He turned around and looked behind him as if to make sure Sirius wasn't talking to someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius couldn’t help but chuckle, “Remus, I’m talking to you,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right!” Remus stammered, “My name is Remus, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Sirius nodded. “I mean you don’t have to, but I kind of like you and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No no no I would love to go!” Remus cut him off. “I’m just kind of surprised you’d want to spend time with me,” Remus trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I want to spend time with you! Can I have your number?” Sirius asked. He was now determined to get this boy’s confidence up, even if it was the last thing he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus took out a scrap piece of paper from his backpack and wrote a quick note on it, handing it to Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t wait,” he said shyly.</span>
</p><p><span>“Me neither, I’ll message you!” Sirius replied. He looked at Remus, who looked like he was still trying to process what had just happened, and decided to boop in on the nose. Remus let out a small giggle and smiled up at Sirius with big, kind eyes which were complimented by his long eyelashes, and </span> <span><em>fuck</em></span><span>if Sirius didn't just die right there.</span></p><p>
  <span>After a few moments of both of them staring at each other in wonder, Sirius figured he should leave before James became impatient. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll message you," he promised. Remus just smiled and nodded and Sirius left the shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Practically skipping, Sirius made his way over to the car. He sat down in James’ car, and before James could ask what he had done, Sirius let out an extremely loud whoop, causing James to cover his ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What!?” James asked after Sirius stopped cheering to take a breath. All Sirius managed to get out were a few unrecognizable words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Sirius finally calmed down, he told James what happened, resulting in both of them cheering for a solid 5 minutes. It was a good day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius finally looked at the note Remus gave him, it was written with very neat handwriting, saying:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>You’re going to have to tell me about the soap, </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>0420 0420</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Remus x</em>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please keep in mind that I am very bad at talking to people so this is what I think happens when two people talk to each other normally (also my English is,,, questionable) sorry :(<br/>Come say hi on Tumblr @lloomy (if you want)!<br/>Comments and kudos are appreciated &lt;3 (no pressure though!)<br/>Alsooo 'Dance Potato Boy, Dance' is a Technoblade reference. Also Noot Noot.<br/>Noot</p></blockquote></div></div>
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